Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I'm a Harsh Person

So, it's been long since I posted on my or any-one else's blog. Thanks to my PTCL's DSL connection which is up once again after about 4 and a half days.

I was reading Asmi's Journal today and found out that she didn't gave any answer to my comment. The post on which I commented last is gone too. So, I think the thing is, she has a bad feeling about me because I did discourage her a bit in my second-last comment. So, this and a few more things that happened made me write this post.

When I was a kid, I was stupid. I used to trust everyone very quickly. I used to make friends very quickly too. So, I had many friends, all beautiful, intelligent, sober etc. etc. According to me, they had all the good qualities.

As in everyone's life, people come and go, people came and went away in my life too. But let me tell you what was my criteria of distinguishing between good and bad people.

Good people look good, they have clean teeth, combed hair, smiling face, they talk with manners, they wont fight, they come first in the class, they wont irritate you by tailing you etc. etc. But as I grew-up, I found out that the reality is a bit different.

When I was in hostel a few years ago doing my BS. I learned that my idea of good people was a bit wrong.

The first person I met (or the second person I don't know) was asking me so much questions, for example: where are you living, have you arranged for your hostel, and when he asked something he came even closer to me to actually force me to give him the answer. So, at first sight I was quite sick of him. Then I came to know that he is going to live in the very room I've got for me (three people per room). So, to my horrible experience, he was there before evening.

In that time of me being in the room, he did many questionable things like asking me to solve him a calculus problem and teach him and then, while I was teaching he looked away being busy in something else (apparently not paying attention).

And when I went to hotel to have lunch or dinner (we used to go to hotel to have lunch or dinner in hostel time even) he used to come with me talking friendly and I used to pay the bill (I was stupid not to try him by asking him to pay my bill even once).

Well a lot of things happened and then he became (because of such acts of him) the most disliked person in our university.

A few days before we were leaving the university, he came to me and said, "I didn't know that because of my ignorance people would start to dislike me. I never had thought to displease them. But ignorantly I have done a lot of bad things because of which I am disliked. Tell me what should I do? Have I done something bad to you too?".

So, there was no way for me to dislike him anymore. But I did told him everything I could remember that he done bad to me and I told him everything he disliked about me too (there were a few acts of mine on which he acted-upon quite aggressively) and told him that he misunderstood me and I was actually saying this this and this...

After that, we were friends AlhamduLILLAH. But he graduated earlier than me so we parted (not willingly ofcourse). So let's see his qualities a bit and compare them with my criteria:
Look Good:true
Clean Teeth: true
Combed hair: true
Smiling Face: true
They Talk with manners: not necessarily
they wont fight with you: false false false
They come first in the class: may be or may be not true
They wont irritate you by tailing you: big false

So, till my stay at the university and after that, I had many encounters with people. And you might be surprised to know that, the people I disliked on the first sight came out later to be my best friends. I disliked them because of their unmannerly language. But later I found out that the people who are not good at good language are actually good at friendship. But the people with lovely voice and good vocabulary and a mannerly tone like a writer are cool devils inside (well this is my experience about the present people).

I know my experience about the people is not perfect. But this is true about normal people as far as I know. There are people who are great both from the inside and outside. But they are rare. May be 400 in the whole world. So, if you dislike a person who doesn't look good to you because of his face or talking, stop disliking him/her at once because he/she may be better than anyone else but you never know.

As Rasool-uLLAH (Peace be upon Him) said, "In the east there will be a qaum(group of people) who will be good at talking (talk very sensible and mannerly) but they will be jahannamis (the people who go to hell)." (Sahih Bukhari)

ALLAH show me and take me to the right path! A'meen!

My language isn't sweet, and I don't like it to be because I don't want to be one of the cool devils (ALLAH save me). But I hope I don't hurt you when you don't deserve to be. And if I do hurt you when you don't deserve to be, please try to understand me.


Umm Omar said...

Brother, my advice to you is to take it easy and don't take blogging too seriously. We've all been through what you described and most of us have learned the hard way that people on the surface may look sweet & nice, but that doesn't always correspond to personality & character. We understand. At the same time, there is nothing wrong with giving naseeha in a kind manner. I'm not referring to any of your comments on blogs here, I'm just going by what you say here in your post.

CooL MuslimaH said...


"Appearences can't can be deceptive" is a thought i very firmly believe on.

its true you can't judge people by thier appAREnt looks but i guess you can't help it are not going to tear someone's heart and see..
Experience teaches alot..

~Cool Muslimah~

Aurangzeb said...

Umm Omar! The advice you gave me is the advice all of my friends gave me one way or the other. But this has become sort of a disease in me. I take almost everything seriously (Doesn't mean I lack sportsmanship by the way).

CoolMuslimah! You can be right but as far as I know about the girls (teenagers mostly) are quite bad at judging people. They mostly fall in love with the jerks (no offense). So, I thought this post might be helpful for teenage boys and girls too!

CooL MuslimaH said...


I dont know what you think..thanx for your concern..Yeah maybe i'm bad at judging people but I evry well nderstand the psyche of a person alhamdulillah..

and i made a typing mistake -appearances can be deceptive"

~Cool Muslimah~

Asmi's Journal said...

I was really shocked when reading this X_X and I felt kind of nervous...

BUT you're not a harsh person and the real reason I didn't reply to your comment is cuz, well, I didn't know what to reply. Plain simple. And I didn't delete the post at all - I actually shifted it to another date (because I thought the post itself was random and silly, which it was) and it's still there. It would really make me feel better if you didn't call yourself a harsh person because of this.

I think we've all made mistakes and I guess my mistake was not replying in time and well, if it helps, I guess I'm sorry.