I was reading Asmi's Journal today and found out that she didn't gave any answer to my comment. The post on which I commented last is gone too. So, I think the thing is, she has a bad feeling about me because I did discourage her a bit in my second-last comment. So, this and a few more things that happened made me write this post.
When I was a kid, I was stupid. I used to trust everyone very quickly. I used to make friends very quickly too. So, I had many friends, all beautiful, intelligent, sober etc. etc. According to me, they had all the good qualities.
As in everyone's life, people come and go, people came and went away in my life too. But let me tell you what was my criteria of distinguishing between good and bad people.
Good people look good, they have clean teeth, combed hair, smiling face, they talk with manners, they wont fight, they come first in the class, they wont irritate you by tailing you etc. etc. But as I grew-up, I found out that the reality is a bit different.
When I was in hostel a few years ago doing my BS. I learned that my idea of good people was a bit wrong.
The first person I met (or the second person I don't know) was asking me so much questions, for example: where are you living, have you arranged for your hostel, and when he asked something he came even closer to me to actually force me to give him the answer. So, at first sight I was quite sick of him. Then I came to know that he is going to live in the very room I've got for me (three people per room). So, to my horrible experience, he was there before evening.
In that time of me being in the room, he did many questionable things like asking me to solve him a calculus problem and teach him and then, while I was teaching he looked away being busy in something else (apparently not paying attention).
And when I went to hotel to have lunch or dinner (we used to go to hotel to have lunch or dinner in hostel time even) he used to come with me talking friendly and I used to pay the bill (I was stupid not to try him by asking him to pay my bill even once).
Well a lot of things happened and then he became (because of such acts of him) the most disliked person in our university.
A few days before we were leaving the university, he came to me and said, "I didn't know that because of my ignorance people would start to dislike me. I never had thought to displease them. But ignorantly I have done a lot of bad things because of which I am disliked. Tell me what should I do? Have I done something bad to you too?".
So, there was no way for me to dislike him anymore. But I did told him everything I could remember that he done bad to me and I told him everything he disliked about me too (there were a few acts of mine on which he acted-upon quite aggressively) and told him that he misunderstood me and I was actually saying this this and this...
After that, we were friends AlhamduLILLAH. But he graduated earlier than me so we parted (not willingly ofcourse). So let's see his qualities a bit and compare them with my criteria:
|They Talk with manners:||not necessarily|
|they wont fight with you:||false false false|
|They come first in the class:||may be or may be not true|
|They wont irritate you by tailing you:||big false|
So, till my stay at the university and after that, I had many encounters with people. And you might be surprised to know that, the people I disliked on the first sight came out later to be my best friends. I disliked them because of their unmannerly language. But later I found out that the people who are not good at good language are actually good at friendship. But the people with lovely voice and good vocabulary and a mannerly tone like a writer are cool devils inside (well this is my experience about the present people).
I know my experience about the people is not perfect. But this is true about normal people as far as I know. There are people who are great both from the inside and outside. But they are rare. May be 400 in the whole world. So, if you dislike a person who doesn't look good to you because of his face or talking, stop disliking him/her at once because he/she may be better than anyone else but you never know.
As Rasool-uLLAH (Peace be upon Him) said, "In the east there will be a qaum(group of people) who will be good at talking (talk very sensible and mannerly) but they will be jahannamis (the people who go to hell)." (Sahih Bukhari)
ALLAH show me and take me to the right path! A'meen!
My language isn't sweet, and I don't like it to be because I don't want to be one of the cool devils (ALLAH save me). But I hope I don't hurt you when you don't deserve to be. And if I do hurt you when you don't deserve to be, please try to understand me.